#blackpower #communication #Inamorata #blacksexeducation #blackrelationships #culturalhumility

Originally posted in Huffington Post on October 6, 2016 After finances and communication, the third most challenging problem for a couple’s therapist to treat is infidelity. Infidelity is second only to physical abuse as having the most damaging impact to a relationship. There are different reasons that people violate their commitment in relationships. Those who give the reasons attractiveness (“He/She is too sexy to resist.”), conquest (I couldn’t pass it up.”), and insecuri

Recently, I was interviewed by Dr. Tamara Griffin with Our Sexuality! Magazine. Here is an excerpt from the article speaking on my view points on our current sexuality field. You can read the article in its entirety here. 1. Who is Ruby Bouie Johnson? This is such an existential question. As a mental health practitioner, I find myself non-judgmental, open, and nurturing. This is intentional and purposeful. My belief is that if your client has a feeling and expectancy of safet

Healing Conversations About Racism It’s 12:39 a.m. and I was awaken by a disturbing dream. I recognize that there are possible post-traumatic stress symptoms from my experience with the protest July 8, 2016 in Dallas, Texas. The protest was in honor for change and healing as the result of the murders of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile (and many others). Intellectually, I recognize that there is emotional and mental healing needed. As a therapist, I attend trainings to ass

“Inviting others in is the practice of accepting the discomfort of fear.” -Ruby Johnson The Myth What does “good at poly” mean? I hear this statement often. The scenario that typically precedes this self-judging statement is the person criticizing their own feelings of “jealousy, envy, or fear.” My question is this – Who set the standard of “good at poly”? What does that look like? From my experience both personally, professionally, and from reading other’s experiences, it ap

I am reading a lot more dialogue around narcissism and intimate relationships. I work with many types of clients and my work with couples on narcissism is some of the most challenging work that I do. I find I must strike a balance between engaging the narcissistic individual and putting them in a self-preservation mode. Once they feel threatened, they often react to manipulate the therapist through grandiosity and entitlement. The second challenge is the delicate balance of c

Inviting In, Accepting To© is a workbook for those persons who are considering inviting other emotional, mental, or physical relationships with others into their lives through the practice of consent, power, and communication. In my experience, thus far, with consensual non-monogamous relationships the aforementionend skill set is not given enough attention. You may be asking yourself, what the hell is she talking about? How is power a skill? How is consent a skill? Some may